second love...

haha..ari ni wat assignment klien server sikit..ada lagi 3 minggu...i wat to finish my work by myself and not by copying from other.thanks God, i really2 done it..hehe..nanti nak gi li takkan nak niru gak kan? bukan susah sangat de important one, buat betul2 concentrate abaikan daya2 luar...abaikan mangkin2 yg xbaik tu..such as.. internet...dis blog tidak terkecuali... hehe...i fall in love 4 the second time..haha..tak setianya...datz wat we called, cinta express...kuikuikui...but actually...diz is not love just testing hope it will be the right one..hope so..harap2....amin...

sedey lagi...

Iz dat too ezz 4 me to fall in luv 4 de second time n at de same time my pain inside my heart do ever recover yet. I don’t think so coz it took two years to love my ex-flame and how could I fall in luv just like dat…quite boring dis day…I just downloaded mp3s from rojak and alter my speech. I loved to see my presentation’s slide..especially that poem..suddenly..i felt like I miz him…I saw a guy who dressed and walked just like him.. I rely2 miss him…aku tak dapat nak lawan rasa ati aku time ni..masa cam ginila yg paling aku tak suka…tiab2 merindu pd dia..sedangkan tau rindu ni xakan berbalas.

my weekend

Today I told myself.. okey lok on your notes, wen wil de final exam start? How many day ave passed and u done nothing except makin a stright line on the calender?I got up early dis morning not so erly la but at least better den my last2 Sunday. Iz dat de msg last nite gave an impact 2 me..of coz because ive waitin 4 him abot two month and den suddenly he smsed…I rely miz him. I wan 2 hear his voice…em…but I know dat…dey r nothing between us anymore, I ave 2 accept dis fact…may b he alredy get new partner over dey…I rely2 miz u..but I ave to stick wit my own policy, don’t contact im…but I sent messages 2 him every two weeks…and wen I felt lonely..thanks God coz I don’t ave kredit rite now if not I would reply him..dat wil show 2 him dat I still don’t changed, I stil wanted im..yezz, datz true..but I must go on…I can’t return back to my past…ingat…dis iz de second time he threw u away…senang2 dia campak,senang2 dia nak ambik balik? Ingat aku xde maruah.. I remind myself..em…I finished my work,speech persuasive. I ave done wit my outline and slides.rite now I only have to arrange my speech neat and orderly. Buat meto sikit2… ntah aper2 actuly xpaham nota dlm bi im too lazy 2 translate it…tunggula…I done I little bit so nanti xyahla risau2 banyak keje…just continue aper yg kureng…si D ari nix de so wat keje di bilik dia sambil2 tengok cite..but I done my work first kuikuikui kalau x, em..xde la nak siap2nye nanti…quite boring today…im hungry but malas nak gerak..tp actuly xde la lapar sangat ejak akhir2 ni cuma malas nak makan…nak kata diet, xjuga sebab kalau dah makan lantak aje semua hehe…camne esok yek? Dss xbuat lagi…ceh..where tan che leong and his frenzz?sok2 kang baru kelam kabut tp xpe..hehe leong ader….de most important one, that was group work…jap gi nak gi cc masukkan ni..and den change my name and alter whatever..so…see you…

wakakaka...

Wa…my tears shed again…why? After a month im waitin 4 dis… den just now.. he smsed me..dia antar message… azmi sms me… I m veri api, den I also cry… wlupun Cuma ayat yg pendek, cukup untuk menyentuh ati aku…wa… sampai aku tak jadi nak cite aper yg aku buat ari ni…sebab dpt sms dia tu…pendek tp bermakna buat aku…tapi aku xde kredit..bukan ego..xnak balas tp xde…kwang kwang kwang… dia mesej aku…hahaha….my ex from my past..sms me… my old flame sms me… wa.. im goin crazy haha I alredy crazy… hehe…wa…

ari jumaat..

2day.. im free..no classes at all..cam besalah..toksah cakapla…ke mana lagi…kalau bukan ke hala tuju yang sama…datzz alwyz b my first destination if I feel bored… actuly…juz wan to get away and run from my bedroom.. why? Nothin.. juz nothing… but if u rely2 wan to see tears and fear, so u can place a cam at my room, and see wat wil apen to me at the middle of nite… wen sudenly I wake up… wa…. Ya…emak tepon cakap macam mana dengan result? Sedey la mak, aku ni kan entahla, nak jadi macam my siblings… how can ya? Argh…geram dengan diri sendiri..bila nak berubah… tapi camne.. who wan to help me…wakakak…no one can help me, dependz on mysef… den last nite..termimpi la pulak.. habuan yg si A dapat pasal dpt anugerah dekan… jeles beb.. nasib baik terbangun… nightmare ke tu? Ari ni pun xde buat aper2…just sat in fron of dat pc.. buat aper2 ntah.. keje xsiap2 gak..pegi lunch ngan lefthanded girlz… si H dah kuar pas subuh2 gi ke melaka… I only knew his bf’s name… neve meet dan xpernah tengok gambar pun.. camna dengan orangnya yek? Must be kind and honest.. kalau x, si H xde la gitu berubah kuikukui… begitu ke diri aku tengah khusyuk bercinta dulu… begitu ke aku time I was so in lovee witz that guy datz finaly… wat I got? Except.. this painful and tearzz… wakakak…sudah… jangan diingat lagi…hehe… ya… mesti lupakan… benda2 cam tu dah disibakkan oleh masa kan? Dah disibakkan oleh masa… lupakan… wa… lagi2 aku memujuk hati sendiri… 4get my ex from my past...its been one month and 18 days since we broke up...and sekali lagi…..kupujuk ati ini…emm..petang print bahan untuk speech bi..musti buat baik2 punye… tajuk aje pun dah gempak aper… musti buat yang gempak giler.. I told mysef… pas tu anto cik mek kedah fi komuter.. balik gak kakak ni hah…ish ish ish.. dia ni mana pernah xbalik… pantang ade ruang sket.. ke melaka…cam buah melaka kot melaka tu..delightful itu yg sedap nak gi selalu tu. Pas tu gi fak… em… chat lagi.. sambil2 buat blog.. belaja sikit.. wei pear… subjek c, java, vb ko malas yek? Bende xbelaja ni ko minat plak? Balik…tido.. tido ke?? Ntah ade kot…basuh baju… baca bi..den ternangis skit.. oi kenangan! Sampai bila nak sakitkan ati aku? Tak puas2 lagi ke? Den mizam called... borak ngan dia.. aper da.. pas tu ngantuk plak.. hehe.. tido..

mungkin Nanti

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Ntahler i just like dis song...irama...lyric..maybe becozz i felt tertembak..but den hehe entahla...

tengok2..

haha...actuly i dunno wat to do witzz dis..i am just wat test it weter i can view it or not... em.. quite simple but i wil take a long time 4 me to design and 2 alter it back.. but hopefuly i can build de best blog 4 mysef... so.. see you later!!

pas presentation

How r you? I ope you r fine and always in pink of health.. em..today was so bored but I try to manage mysef becoz yesterday, I’ve ignore my frenz. I am scared if thei fel sad or angry witz my behavior, so I tried to make & sow dat I am api. I push mysef to laf and smile, stop ponder. Tak..tak..laf and tak coz it wil elp me 2 get busy and stop thinkin anything else. But somtim I fell and of coz I’ve 2 obey witz my own heart & soal..stop pretendin! Mysef laf 2 mysef. Y ya, I stil kep on and lokin backwards 2 our memoriez… rewind back to my past… actuly I’ve tried 2 kep and find back the pieces of my heart, so I can glue it all back to their shape & pattern althou may be it wil not like de ori one, but at least I’ll ave some spirit 4 mysef, so I can proceed witz my life. But the probs is, I dunno we ave you threw my heart? My heart was misbehaving somwer but where? I’ve neve n wil neve stop thinkin of ya. I do rely2 miz ya. I alwyz pray & wish dat the wind & the rain can send my love and my felin 2 ya so u can fel like me too, but I do realize dat waz so imposible like I am waitin moon drops on my arms…is dat sometin wrong wit me, if I stil chose this journey, I chose not to forget ya.. I made a decision 2 go on wit my life like dis. So miserable ya? Iz I am crazy? I also fel pity wit mysef but no one can help me except mysef… I am seriuzly tel ya, dat I cant. I made so many mistakes wen i waz witz u...too many...but u alwayz 4gave me n said politely “xpe… abang tak marah”... dat word.. touched deeply to my heart…...i know u loved me at that time...but i was stupid enuf.. I said.. “eleh…tanam tebu di pinggir bibir”… den u finaly let me go... nah ko! Rasakan fire tu! waa.. I wan to die dat time.. Coz 4 me, I fel like losing somthin dat so important & precious in my life. Althou I go around dis world, I wil never met such a person like ya. I’ve neve appreciate you, kan? And dat wen you gone…datz why I became wit dis madness… i never take things for granted in my life...and till 2day, dis moment...i miss you...evrytime i think of the times we had...i know..dat i can neve find dat appines again...n i wil cry evrytime i think of it..evrytime you know…emm…ave u throw away me, mysef from your heart and your memory? I fel like dat… don’t you know how much I miss..and plez listen to my hart’s moan.. dat felin rely, truly, deply… hurt me… I’ve tried and forced mysef 2 forget you, but that is de hardest thing 2 do… and honestly… I am not ready yet, to close the diary of our memories.. am I too cruel witz my life… I’ve try 2 persuade mysef…pear.. push yourself… 4get abot dat all..find another world…don’t live in dis gloomy & blue situation. But den.. my swetz memories cried & said… plezz don’t go.. I am your swetz memories.. your sweetheart… I know, if you let me go, it doesn’t means dat u can 4get abot it, but u just pretending… don’t be hypocrite. U stil ned me.. and ya know wat? DatZZZ true… your memory will always lives on..i kept this proms… amir… u’ll always b my heart and soul and I knew dat, u r de sweetest memory in my life… I also don’t like to turn back to de past… because it will hurt me, dat memories like a very sharp knife stabbing mysef. I am nearly die, but I know dat I must go on and move on… but how can I mange 2 do dat? I’ve lost you…