seven years...

Salam.... Firstly, i thought maybe the date on each of my entry was wrong. On my second thought, i also can't remember, what date or what year. So, let it be. Reading back all my stories, for the past few years, it made me think a lot, and sometimes laugh, and sometimes, i felt sad. Tetapi bukan itu ceritany. Kala itu, aku muda remaja. Kini, aku sudah dewasa. Ah... at least ada kenangan yang sudah tercatat. Huhu. Tak apa. Tapi kini, aku wanita dewasa. Jangan risau. I am totally an adult, mature and fine.

Geram...

Geram dengan sekor kucing ni. Mengesel-gesel tidak berhenti. Akhirnya pula aku mengamuk. Tak pasal2 sorang beruk tu plak terasa. tapi takpala. dia memang begitu. dulu2 bila perlukan org ja dia dekat2, skrg ni makin jauh sebab dah ada geng untuk buat dajal, maklumlah aku ni skema, ikut peraturan. yang penting aku tak buat musuh dengan ko, tapi aku dah lama tahan dengan perangai ko dalam rumah ni. hanya aku yang rasa. orangdi opis tau perangai ko camna, orang tak tahan, bayangkan aku ni, serumah dengan ko. tapi sori ya kalo ko nak halau aku, sori sikit, ko boleh halau org lain, tapi tidak aku. aku tak pernah berganjak dari tempat asal di mana aku ditempatkan. mungkin ko pikir aku tak pernah terasaa atau apa, tapi sampai satu tahap nanti, ko tahula camna geramnya aku dengan ko sebenarnya. jahat2 si j tu, aku sangat yakin juga, hati ko pun sangat jahat dan dendam dengan sapa2 saja kecuali ci n tu sebab dia masih lagi ikut kedajalan ko.

empty...

everything is empty... also my heart.. i dreamed of him, wonder how he is... sudah kawin ka, mimpi yang mengosongkan hati... walau sekadar mimpi...

i miss my little lovely one too... hope to see you soon....

ARghh

Pilu... Pilu....

im gonna miss you all
im gonna get homesick
im gonna miss you all
im gonna cry all day long


im gonna miss you all...
if i can just stay here
if i can be just like the others
if i can live well and grown as you dream of
if i just....

im gonna miss you all

New Car...

Finally my father just buy new vehicle, trend it in with the last one, that they bought a year ago...em... a year....
i dont even manage to buy a bike yet....
"belilah, bulan2 bayar la. Boleh juga guna."
Huh! Do you think that so easy? How about my ptptn, my loan? Maybe, if not about the loan, i've already buy one, because i owed ptptn.. at least... at least, less than my others friends, over 20K, and might be over 30K...
BUT REALLY,
i dont even think i really need it right now, where ever i go, i still can move on, i will find ways to make sure that i'll never get stuck in one place. At least i know how to survive, not easily become dizzy or scared. It always a way if you're lost. No... believe you didnt find the place yet, never assume that you're lost...
One simple thing,
whenever you go, keep remind youself to look around and seek for something different at the place and keep it on your mind.
If you still can remember only one single thing, oyu might save your day later....

Anyway,
it just one day left before i go back there....
I keep counting on clock.. second... hours.....
i felt regret because at the end, i've already broke my parents' heart with my behavior.. but at least, i realized im a little bit different than before, i mean last year....

I'll mis you all forever...


Spend my very last moment with my lovely family right now...